Scared for You
By Sarah Bursich

Don’t look at me with those eyes.
I only wish to see the ones that see me.
So put the bloodshot blanket
Back into your pocket.
Bring out those almond joys I once knew.
Show me the good I once saw in you.

I feel hands shaking
And knees buckling
As it’s dangling
From your bottom lip.
With each word you speak
It’s slicing chills through me.
Lingering on words, and it reeks.
You reek of it.
As always.

Recalling memories
More bad than good.
Wishing I could recall better
And I know I should.
But I shouldn’t have to
Have to work at it.
Be the mom I need...
Just once, I beg it.

Laughing off remarks...
As if it were a joke.
In turn the only joke
Is on me.
Your trickery
My tragedy.
You’ve get them fooled,
But I’m not a fool
Not anymore.

Your angry words
Slur into a giant angry fist.
Breaking away at me
At every part of me,
Only wish you could see
What I’m seeing now.

The thick aroma,
Your shouts so dank.
You’re leaning over
The edge.
And you know you’re falling
You can’t escape.

If allowed the chance,
Just a single opportunity,
I’d fine a way to fix this.
But I don’t think even I
Can elucidate your reason...
Not even to myself.

I’m not mad.
I’m not bitter.
I’m not hating you...
I’m scared for you.

For years on end
From young childhood,
I’ve prayed for you.
Know that not one night goes by
That I don’t cry.
That I don’t worry.
That I don’t wish God would hurry
With a solution.

I’m not mad.
I’m not bitter.
I’m not hating you...
I’m scared for you.

And tonight I’ll pray for you.

Not a day goes by,
That I’m not scared for you.
Wish I could love you
Like I want to.
But I’ll pray for you.
I worry for you.
God will pull me through.
‘Til then,
I’m just scared for you.


|*--){ Comments }(--*|

Depressing... yeah. Sorry. I dont think i have to rele have to explain this one too much... to tell u the truth, i dont rele wanna. Its upsetting. She's a lush and i hate it. I'm sick of seing her hurt the family. And i wish just once in my life, i could have a mom. I have a physical, biological one... but she's never there. No matter what she says. Sam's more of a mother to me than she'll ever be.